CAPITAL HUMANE SOCIETY
2320
Preparing Your Pet For
Baby’s Arrival
CopyrightDenver Dumb Friends League and Humane Society
of the
Helping
your pet adjust to the arrival of a new baby is much like preparing a young
child for the same event. Handling your pet’s curiosity, anxiety and increased
insistence for attention may seem like an overwhelming task, in addition to
preparing yourself and your household for the baby’s arrival. You can, however,
help your pet adjust to the big changes ahead with minimal time and effort by
making gradual adjustments to your lifestyle before the baby arrives.
Sounds
And Smells
Your
pet is very sensitive to sounds and smells and uses these special abilities to
gather information. From your pet’s point of view, you and your home have
specific identifying smells that are uniquely yours. There are also certain
sounds that your pet considers "normal" for your household. Even the
different tones of voice you use send important signals. Your baby won't actually
change those scents and sounds that are part of your identity, but the baby’s
arrival will certainly add some new and very different ones. It’s important
that you introduce these new smells and sounds to your pet gradually in a calm
and pleasant atmosphere. Each time you introduce something new to your pet,
make the experience positive. Stroke him, give him treats and praise him for
his good behavior when he’s faced with a strange new sound or smell. Relax! If
you act anxious, your pet will be anxious too. Pets tend to feel alarmed and
defensive when faced with unexpected sounds. Take a little time to become
familiar with the “normal” sounds of your household. Is your home normally
quiet, with little background noise? If so, how does your pet react to
"extra" sounds like a vacuum cleaner, a ringing telephone or a
whistling teakettle? If your home is normally noisy, your pet may simply sleep
through the usual sounds, but how does he react when something unusual occurs?
The more strongly your pet reacts to unexpected sounds, the more important it
is for you to help him adjust to the "baby sounds" which will become
a regular part of your home environment.
Try
to recognize what smells are prominent in your home, including your own
personal scent. Your home has its own mixture of smells that makes it feel
familiar and safe - cleaning products, kitchen odors, even dust. Also be aware
of the products you use that help create your own individual scent, such as
soaps, hair care products, toothpaste, deodorant, laundry detergent and
cologne. Any new smells should be added gradually, layered on over a period of
weeks. Be aware of the effect these changes have on your pet. While you do
this, try to keep one part of your home smelling "right" for your
pet. In order to prepare your pet for the new baby, borrow some baby sounds and
smells. Visit a friend's baby or a nursery and make a tape recording of baby
sounds like gurgling, laughing, screaming, crying and kicking. Handle a baby
and absorb some of the smells of baby lotion, powder and food. Go directly home
and spend some positive, relaxed time with your pet. Give him a massage or play
with him while the baby smells mingle with your own odors and you introduce the
recorded baby sounds.
Start
out with the volume turned fairly low and if your pet doesn't react strongly to
the sounds, gradually increase the volume to a normal level. As you play the
tape, look at your pet and speak calmly, using your pet's name. Smile! It adds
a special tone to your voice that helps your pet relax. Repeat these sessions
daily until the baby's arrival. After a week or so, add the actual sources of
the odors to the sound-and-smell sessions with the supplies you’ll be using for
your own baby. Think about your pet's perspective. How does a baby bottle smell
when it's freshly sterilized? When it's dirty? Borrow a dirty diaper and let your
pet become accustomed to that smell, too. Borrow a baby! After a few weeks,
combine baby sounds and smells (which should be familiar to your pet by now)
with the bustle and attention of a visiting baby. This is an excellent “dress
rehearsal” for the extra visitors and attention you and your baby will receive
during the first few weeks after delivery.
After
you bring your baby home, be aware of the ways you use your voice. Do you only
speak to your pet with negative tones when the baby’s in the room
("no," "off," "don't," "stop")? If so,
your pet will certainly connect unhappy feelings with the baby's presence.
While you hold your baby, smile at your pet and use his name. Give your pet a
small treat when the baby is fed to distract your pet from the smell of the
baby's food. Make time with the baby a pleasant time for your pet as well.
Environment
If
you’ll be redecorating or rearranging your home, do it long before the baby
arrives. With your supervision, let your pet explore any off-limits areas, and
then exclude him from these areas before the baby arrives. Screen doors are
excellent, inexpensive barriers for off-limits areas like the baby's room. Your
pet can still see, smell and hear all the action and so can you. If an
off-limits room has been a favorite area for your pet, this will be a major
change for him. Move his favorite things from that room into another area, if
possible in the same arrangement.
To
boost your pet’s confidence, establish a private, comfortable place that your
pet can use as a safe retreat. Select an area you can close off, if necessary.
The "safe-zone" should include a water bowl, a nest composed of a
soft towel or your pet’s bed and some worn, unwashed clothing with your smell
on it. If your pet is a cat, you should include a litter box in this area also.
Your pet can choose to retreat here, or you can choose to confine him to this
“safe zone” when things get extra hectic. Spend some positive time with your
pet in this area every day, and if he must be confined for an hour or so, it
mustn't seem like punishment. During the transition, respect your pet’s need
for rest and privacy. This will become especially important when your baby
reaches the crawling stage. In addition to a "safe-zone," cats should
also have access to plenty of escape routes, hiding places and perches.
Routine
Routine
is important to pets because they need to know what to expect. Think ahead and
gradually begin establishing new routines early on. Include in your adjusted
schedule at least once a day, quality time for just you and your pet, with no competition
for your attention. This “non-baby” time is very important for your pet and for
you! Some of the changes in your post-baby routine won't be permanent, like
getting up at all hours of the night. Help your pet handle temporary schedule
adjustments by ignoring any extra attention-getting ploys used at those times.
Try to get back to your normal routines as soon as possible.
Social
Order
The
first priority for an animal faced with a new family member is to determine who
will be top dog (or cat) in the relationship. Dogs and cats live by an
unwritten code of ranking in their relationships. For most dogs and cats, it
isn't really important which one comes out on top, only that the rank be
decided. Whether you have one pet or several, your own position in the family's
social order should be clear - you must always be the top-ranking animal in
your family. This will be especially important as your baby's arrival
approaches. When your position as leader of the family is secure and it’s clear
that the baby belongs to you, your pet should not challenge the baby's important
rank in your home.
If
your pet is very protective of you or your home, is a little pushy about food
and toys, has been known to behave aggressively toward other animals and/or
challenges your rank as leader, then you probably have a dominant pet (see our handout
“Dealing with Dominance in Dogs”). In this situation, it’s especially important
that family rank and household rules be firmly established before your baby's
arrival. You may need to seek the help of an animal behavior specialist. Reinforce
house rules and manners to remind your pet that you are the leader in your
family (see our handout “Nothing in Life Is Free”). If your pet hasn't learned
basic manners or obedience commands, now is the time to start. Train your dog
to sit and lie down on command. This physical control will be especially
important when your arms are filled with your baby and various baby
paraphernalia. Be sure that your pet understands when (if ever) jumping onto
people or things is appropriate. If cats have always had access to any surface
in your home (counters, tables and so forth) you need to decide which places
will be off-limits after the baby's arrival.
Start
training your pet now to discourage him from jumping onto those places. Be
considerate, though, and be sure to allow your cat access to some high-up
places in your home. Dogs should only be allowed to jump when specific permission
is given. If your pet likes to spend time in your lap, teach him to ask
permission before jumping up. You don't have to eliminate laptime
completely, just limit access to those times when you can give him your full
attention and an entire lap. Teach your pet that your voice, your look and your
presence are also positive forms of attention -- that
you don't always need to touch him to show affection. You can do this simply by
talking calmly and pleasantly to your pet as he lies or sits nicely at your
feet. Use his name, smile and make eye contact with him. Insist on good manners
from the beginning. Don't accept any whining, growling or pushy behavior in an
attempt to gain attention. Give your pet plenty of time and attention whenever
you can, but not when he’s demanded it! Plan short periods of play time, treat
time and snuggle time with your pet - with and without your baby in the room.
Meals should be eaten in the same room and at the same time whenever possible.
Whenever anything inappropriate is in your pet's mouth, offer him a treat in trade for the object, say “drop it” and when he takes the treat praise him enthusiastically and offer him a toy that he’s allowed to have. As a “rule of thumb,” if you don't want it in your pet’s mouth, don't leave it on the floor. Encourage a positive relationship between your baby and your “furry child” by involving them in activities you can all enjoy. Settle into your favorite chair by a sunny window, with your baby in your lap and your cat on a table beside you, so you can stroke them both at the same time! Walk with your baby in a stroller and your dog on leash, just like you did before the baby came, but with this nice addition. Share mealtimes, and when your baby gets a treat or a toy, be sure your pet has something nice to hold, too.