CAPITAL HUMANE SOCIETY
2320
Grieving the Loss of Your Pet
Copyright
Denver Dumb Friends League and Humane Society of the
It’s
never easy to experience the death of a pet. Whether it’s an older animal, who
may have been part of your family longer than most of the furniture and some of
the children, or a pet who has been with you for only a few years, the loss is
always traumatic. When you have to make a decision to have your pet euthanized,
other emotions become entangled with your feelings of loss. Once your pet is
gone, you may think the experience is behind you, but unfortunately, it’s not.
There
will be an empty place in your household and in your life for awhile, and for
the first part of that "while" the void may seem huge. Even though
there are ways to fill the void, the loss you’ve experienced isn’t something
you can simply ignore by assuming your world will adjust itself. Instead, you
must deal with it, just as you would deal with the loss of any good friend. You
can’t expect yourself to think of your pet as a friend and, yet, dismiss those
feelings as disposable because this friend happened to be an animal. It’s not
silly to miss your pet, and it’s not overly sentimental to grieve for him.
Nevertheless,
he was a pet not a person and that makes it more complicated to sort out
exactly what it is you’re supposed to do and feel. Although we recognize the
individual personalities of pets, it doesn’t mean they’re just “little people.”
The relationship you have with your pet is different from any human
relationship you may have. Another difference lies in the complicated question
of "what happens next?"
Many
people believe that animals have no souls and are concerned that they won't see
their animals in the next life. Perhaps you’re unsure about what "the next
life" holds for any of us. If having a soul means being able to feel love,
trust and gratitude, then some animals may be better equipped than some humans.
When an animal becomes the pet of a responsible, caring person, he is given
exactly what he needs and wants – a secure and comfortable home, companionship,
and the opportunity to return the favor through loyalty and affection. Dogs,
especially, are naturally eager to please their “leader” and are happiest when
doing so. When a dog is too old or too sick to respond in the way he thinks he
should, he can't understand why, and feels the anxiety of failure. Because
their natural life spans are shorter than ours, we usually outlive our pets.
Nevertheless, the life you shared together can’t simply be erased. Don't deny yourself the thoughts, memories and feelings that your pet's life deserves. You may decide to fill the empty place in your home and heart with another pet, but you’ll never replace the special bond you held with the one you’ve lost.